The First Time

Gabe was heavier than he looked. Sweating through my tank top (again), I finally got him into bed. I forced him to drink some water and turned him on his side before he passed out for good. Aunt Mary’s first husband died from vomit asphyxiation. No one was sad about it though.

The right thing to do was put a wastebasket by his head and leave.

I stealthily pulled down his worn cargo shorts and Lucky boxers. What the fuck was going on with his dick? It had all kinds of extra. I couldn’t see the head, there was like…a skin blanket all around it. It looked like a supersized sausage roll. I stared for a long time.I guess when you only have sex with one guy since you were 13, you don’t know everything about everything.

He woke up when the sun hit his joyful little eyelashes. My clock all messed up, I was reading his paperback copy of Alex Garland’s The Beach. The Beach, in Thailand? So freakin’ basic Gabe.  I read once that Garland was 23 like me when he started writing the book. If Gabe gives me a map and slits his wrists, I will shove it down his corpse throat and never look back.

Instead he moaned weakly and blinked. In the bright light it turned out only one of his eyes was celery green. The other was hazel.

He jumped and scrambled at sheets when he spotted me cross-legged at the end of his bed.

“Shit! Shit you scared me. What are you doing here?”

Making sure you don’t choke on your own vomit, asshole. And visually molesting you.

“You got pretty sick, so I wanted to be sure you were ok.” I said, getting up to leave. I saw the flashbulbs of memory pop one by one in front of his eyes…and could tell when the last one hit with a flinch.

“Oh. Oh man. I’m sorry. Wait, shit. Let me…like…clean up and get you breakfast or something.”

“That’s ok, I have a noon train I gotta get.”

“No wait, I’ll be two seconds.”

He came out of the bathroom much more collected, with a white towel barely hanging on to his cut hips and knife-flat stomach, smelling like man soap. This guy. Not his first rodeo.

He sat down next to me on the bed and picked up the book.

“This book is crazy. You have to read it while you’re here. If you like to read, I mean.”

Kissing shut him up.

I expected things to go fast and got embarrassed when he took my hand away and said, “It’s only 7 a.m. We have four hours till you have to leave. Let me look at you.”

He stripped off my already grubby tank top (I had brought three for a year) and clicked open my bra with a snap. My breasts are good. Especially the right one. He inhaled slowly and laid me back on the bed. I felt them spread out and tickle the sides of my arms. The sun streak that lit his mismatched eyes was warm across them.

He knelt at the side of the bed and slowly ran the tip of his middle finger from top to bottom. The dark nipple reacted right away and I saw the tiny hairs around it stand straight up in the sunlight. Quick as a fish he licked both nipples with a single swipe, making me gasp, then stood up and turned on the overhead fan. The blades started a slow spin, kicking cool air onto the wetness.

He stretched out beside me and worked my thin cotton skirt off. I couldn’t help leaning in to him, but he held me firmly apart, stroking my waist and kissing my neck, gradually working down to fasten his wide mouth on the left nipple. Well that one’s pretty good too I guess.

I had only been naked in front of one man. Packing practical/pretty underwear, I thought I’d be nervous the first time someone else saw me. Instead Gabe’s gentle stroking, intense stare, short breath and giant hardon made me feel totally comfortable, in control and sexy as hell.

His tongue followed the curve of my waist, replacing his mouth with a gently pinching hand on my breast. I tried to hold still, as his tight grip on my shoulder and thigh told me to. Still I couldn’t help arching and quivering as his light kisses moved over my thin underwear. His long pink tongue slipped between the fabric and my thigh and I yelped like a stepped on puppy. His head shot up and he fixed me with two different colors of concerned eyes.

“Is that ok?”

It could be ok. I hadn’t ever done it before though. Not that I wanted him to know that.

“It’s good…I was surprised. Don’t stop. Please.”

He grinned cockily and went back to work. His curls tickled my inner thighs, making me stifle giggles with the back of my hand.

“You don’t have to be quiet. I want to hear you,” he said, slightly muffled. What did he mean, hear me?

Oh. That’s what he meant. At first it was so sweet it almost hurt my teeth. I moaned and tried to wriggle away. He persistently hung on to my hips and held them tight. It rode the edge of being too much and not enough. He was determined, and when he would break to kiss my stomach or thighs, I could see he was excited as hell too. I was about to tell him to stop, worried I was taking too long or something, when his persistent licks slowed down excruciatingly, and he very gently inserted a finger into my slippery wetness. I could feel him beckoning toward my belly button and then Bangkok exploded.

I slowly came back to reality, the fan evaporating the sweat off the whole length of my body. Gabe, looking quite pleased with himself, ran light fingertips all over me, making me shiver in the heat.

“You are so soft,” he said, running that middle finger down the inside of my arm, stopping to tickle my armpit briefly. I laughed and he finally let me feel his hard arms too.

“You’re not so soft,” I whispered. He laughed. Good. Aunt Mary always said you shouldn’t have relations with someone you couldn’t laugh with.

Turns out his lightly furred, honey colored skin went all the way down. His wide shoulders kept his skinny frame from being scrawny. His abs crinkled into ridiculous ridges when he laughed or stretched. I mostly liked the length of him; long, graceful bones and sinews close to the skin.

And damn if he didn’t kiss like a choirboy possessed by the devil. I was drowning in his mouth and couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hands all over his tight skin, lower and lower. He didn’t stop me this time either. There it was again, the cock that had scared the pants on me last night. Now that it was erect though…nah erect is too a polite word for that veined, pulsing beast…now that he was boned out like a dog, it seemed totally normal. I wanted to ask but I wanted other things more.

I brushed it with my long curls and he took a sharp breath. I smirked at him and started south. He grabbed my arm.

“You don’t owe me anything. I want you to know that. I spent half that flight picturing what I did to you and keeping the blanket on my lap. I’m happy I got to taste you…especially after I was such an arse last night.”

Oh Gabe. You evolved man. You shining white knight. You have no idea what you would be missing.

I am very good at a few things in this life.

Taking care of dying people.

Driving in the snow.


And blow jobs.

I knew I didn’t owe him shit. But I really wanted to suck his cock. After a few deep swallows, stopping for a second at the top to make a neat circle around the tip with my tongue, I asked him if wanted me to stop.

“N- No!”

Thought so Gabe. I put my dark little heart and soul into that BJ, making him squirm and gasp, stopping short of him coming multiple times to brush his length with my breasts. Finally, jaw sore and very pleased with myself, I cupped his balls and nearly swallowed him, letting the back of my throat convulse around his tip.

“Glarg-u!” he shouted, tearing me off him so he could buck hard into his orgasm without breaking my nose.

I grabbed his hand to nibble on a fingertip and saw what time it was on his (oddly expensive) watch. 11:24 a.m.


I was dressed before he stopped shuddering. I still had to get my bag from my hostel, get a cab to the train station, buy my ticket and get on the noon train to Chiang Mai.

“Woah, did I do something? I’m sorry, I thought you wanted me to come…” he spluttered, still half hard and dazed.

I grabbed his stubbly chin and gave him a quick and deep kiss.

“You’re fine. I’ve got to get to my elephants.”

I ran out of his room, glancing back once to see him fall over trying to put shorts on to follow me.

Bye Gabe. You were the perfect kickoff. Minus the puke.

The street seemed more manageable than the day before as I half ran toward my bag.

I now had 30 minutes to make that train, and I knew I could do it if I hustled.

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